In Response to Current Events

I don't usually write about or even post about current events or tragedies. I feel like there is so much out there already to read, and you never know who might take something the wrong way. But today I feel led to share just a little. 

I've always had somewhat of an innocence when it comes to tragedies. Do they make me sad, sure. Do I dwell on them, sure. Do I fear, sure. But I've never really questioned the why. I've always just trusted that it's not an answer I need this side of heaven. Even when my dad died, despite my slew of emotions and grief, I never really spent a whole lot of time fixated on the why. And from time to time I even find myself a bit jealous that he is in the most perfect place, at the feet of his Savior. 

But then a sweet two year old is literally ripped away from his parents and I can't help but ask.. Why... 

As a mom of two toddlers I am devastated for this family and everything in me is asking why. And a part of me can't help but also be a little angry. But you know what, I think that's ok. For a short time, it's ok to feel angry. To ask why. To be overwhelmed. It's ok to feel. But then... Give it to Jesus. 

Lately I've been trying to do too much on my own. By my own ability. And if nothing else, this tragedy has led my heart back to Jesus. To realize that there is so much beyond my ability to understand, comprehend or even feel on my own. I need my Savior and in a big way. Left alone in this world, I wouldn't survive. The grief would consume me. I would live in fear, unable to move. In a world where there are a million things out of my control, that could harm or even take my children from me, I need a Savior. 

I know it's hard not to ask why. Not to be angry and devastated that a sweet two year old boy will not fall asleep in his mamas arms tonight. But I cling to hope. Hope that he is with our Savior, free of the pains and worry of this world, beautiful in every way, dancing on streets of gold. Hope that one day this family will be together once again. Hope that through his death and his story being told all over the world, that maybe someone gives their life to Jesus. Hope that his family will cling to Jesus in their grief and feel His love even deeper than ever.